I have not posted in several days because I have not been sure what to say. These last couple weeks have been really hard for mom and I wanted to obtain her permission before posting. Mom is still essentially on bedrest. It has been about two weeks now. She is not supposed to get out of bed even to go in the other room to fix or eat dinner. She is not able to walk around to get ciculation or look out a different window. She can go from her bed to the chair in her room. She must take special care to stay off her foot at all times if possible. Of course anybody would want their body to heal. This is especially important for her as she has very stong chemicals running through her body that affect her blood counts, as she has a weakened immune system and is suseptible to infection, and as she is preparing to have a major surgery in a few weeks. All these reasons increase the importance that she follow all the rules her doctor has given so that her foot can heal.
First of all, the pain from the previous chemotherapy treatment has really been hard for mom to take. The first few days after seemed to be going pretty well, but the pain has been increasing since then. She has pain in her joints and especially in her knees. She does have prescription medications to help manage the pain; however when she takes the medication, it causes her blood pressure to drop too low. This leaves her with trying to find the balance between a safe blood pressure and relieving some amount of pain.
Second, she is experiencing excessive anxiety symptoms. This is not surprising - she is dealing with a lot. In some ways the cancer diagnosis is still setting in(for her and for us). It is hard to believe that it was only three months ago that she was diagnosed. Her body has been through so much trauma already and she has so much to go (one more chemotherapy, surgery, raditation, and several tests). I think this has all become overwhelming for her. She also loves her job and the kids she gets to work with every day. I know that she has anxiety over not being able to work and not being part of their school year yet. She is so ready to get back to work, the kids, and her coworkers. Mom is so accustomed to being able to do things for herself. It has been very difficult for her to rely on others to bring her meals to her, to take her to appointments, and even to substitute for her at work. Both the pain and the anxiety have led to difficulties sleeping. I know that several days may pass with only a few total hours of sleep.
As I said before, I asked for mom's permission before posting this. She told me that the point of doing the blog was to let people know how she was doing - good and bad. I have tried to keep things general without going into too many details. When it comes down to it, this is all part of dealing with cancer. Cancer is a horrible disease and we all look for a day that nobody has to deal with this anymore. Now I will tell you, that as my mom talks to me about some of her symtoms she adds this:
"You know, being at home I have had no choice but to watch a lot of television. I have seen so much about the miners that have already been trapped for so long...they may be down there for so much longer. When I think about that, I don't think I have much I can complain about."
Of course that is what my mom says...of course it is.